Hilariously Bad Dad Jokes You Can’t Resist In 2026

Worst Dad Jokes are here to make you groan, chuckle, and maybe even roll your eyes—but all in good fun!

If you love silly wordplay, cheesy humor, or just enjoy the kind of jokes only dads can deliver, I’m talking directly to you—as if we’re sharing a laugh at the kitchen table.

These jokes will hit from the very first line and keep the fun going.

Let’s dive in!

The Worst Dad Jokes

🥚 I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down
🍞 Why did the bread go to therapy? It needed to loaf itself
🐠 What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated
🕰️ I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y
🌽 Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field
🐶 Why did the dog sit in the shade? He didn’t want to be a hot dog
🍎 How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it
🚀 I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised
🦆 What do you call a duck that loves making jokes? A wisequacker
🥛 Why did the milk go to school? To become cultured
🐢 Why don’t turtles like to play poker? They’re afraid of shell shock
🥕 Why did the carrot get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field
🕹️ What did the gamer say to the vegetable? Lettuce play
🥚 How does an egg get to work? By eggs-press train
🐝 Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey
🍫 Why don’t chocolates like jokes? They get too melted down
🐔 Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side

Best Worst Dad Jokes

🦖 Why don’t dinosaurs drive cars? Because they’re extinct
🍕 What type of person doesn’t like pizza? A weir-dough
🥓 Why don’t bacon jokes ever get old? They’re always sizzling
🐟 Why are fish so smart? They live in schools
🐘 Why did the elephant sit on a marshmallow? So he wouldn’t fall in the hot chocolate
🥔 How do potatoes resolve arguments? They hash it out
🍩 What did the donut say to the loaf of bread? You’re my jam
🌮 Why did the taco blush? It saw the salsa
🐻 Why don’t bears wear shoes? Because they have bear feet
🥗 Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing
🐍 Why did the snake get a job? He wanted to hiss-terically earn money
🍪 Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumby
🦑 What do squids say when they play cards? Squid you not
🦄 Why did the unicorn cross the road? To get to the magical side
🥤 Why did the soda go to school? Because it wanted to be a little brrr-illiant
🐇 How does a rabbit keep its fur neat? Hare spray
🐼 Why did the panda like old movies? Because they were black and white

Worst Dad Jokes of All Time Go

🐱 What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies
🍌 Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well
🐷 What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop
🥒 Why did the cucumber call 911? Because it was in a pickle
🐶 Why did the puppy sit in the shade? He didn’t want to be a hot dog
🦀 Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish
🦀 Why did the crab never share? Because he was a little shellfish
🥖 Why was the baguette embarrassed? Because it saw the butter
🐸 Why are frogs so happy? Because they eat whatever bugs them
🐥 What do you call a bird that’s afraid of heights? Chicken
🥚 How does an egg say goodbye? Omelette you later
🐎 Why did the horse cross the road? To say hi-neigh to everyone
🦋 Why did the butterfly fail school? Because it went through too many metamorphoses
🥞 Why did the pancake get arrested? Because it was flipping out
🐭 Why did the mouse bring a suitcase? He was going on a squeak-cation
🌶️ Why did the pepper sit alone? Because it couldn’t salsa
🐴 What do you call a horse that lives next door? Neighbor

The Worst Dad Jokes of All Time

🥛 Why don’t cows make good astronauts? Because the stakes are too high
🐢 What do turtles use to communicate? Shell phones
🐙 Why did the octopus cross the road? To get to the other tide
🐔 What do chickens grow on? Eggplants
🐶 Why did the dog sit in the shade? He didn’t want to be a hot dog
🍋 Why did the lemon stop rolling? Because it ran out of juice
🦉 Why did the owl get hired? Because he was outstanding in his field
🐒 What do monkeys call banana jokes? A-peeling
🦀 How do crabs call each other? On shell phones
🥚 What did the egg say to the frying pan? You crack me up
🐧 Why don’t penguins like talking to strangers? They find it ice-breaking
🦊 What do you call a fox that knows karate? A kung-fu fox
🍎 Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice
🐝 Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey
🐸 Why are frogs so happy? Because they eat whatever bugs them
🥔 How do potatoes get around? They take the mash-train
🐟 What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Dam

🦊The Worst Dad Jokes Ever

🐍 Why don’t snakes drink coffee? Because it makes them viperactive
🦄 Why did the unicorn go to therapy? It had too many horn issues
🐻 What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear
🦆 Why did the duck get a promotion? He was a quack above the rest
🐘 How do elephants talk to each other? On their ele-phones
🍌 Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t find a date
🥓 What do you call fake bacon? An impasta
🐟 What did the fish say to the sand? Long tide no sea
🐎 Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? Because it didn’t want to neigh-t
🥗 Why did the salad go to the party? It wanted to toss itself around
🦀 What did the crab say to the clam? Shell yeah
🐇 What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes? A funny bunny
🦉 Why did the owl go to college? To be a wise guy
🐶 What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador
🥖 Why did the bread break up with the butter? It found it too flaky
🍫 Why did the chocolate file a police report? Because it got mugged
🐸 Why did the frog take the bus? His car got toad away

The Worst Dad Jokes in the World

🐢 What did the turtle say when it was late? I’m turtley sorry
🐠 Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom
🦊 Why did the fox cross the playground? To get to the other slide
🐒 Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal
🐧 What do you call a cold penguin? Brrr-ito
🍍 Why did the pineapple stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice
🐍 What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent
🐝 Why did the bee go to school? To improve its buzz-ness skills
🐸 What’s a frog’s favorite candy? Lollihops
🥔 What do potatoes say when they are embarrassed? I’m feeling a little mashed
🦆 Why don’t ducks like fast food? Because they can’t catch it
🐶 Why did the dog sit next to the fire? He wanted to be a hot dog
🦀 Why do crabs never share? Because they’re shellfish
🍅 Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing
🐇 How do rabbits travel? By hareplane
🦄 Why was the unicorn so bad at soccer? Because it kept getting horned
🐘 Why don’t elephants use computers? Because they’re afraid of the mouse